First Date revised
by Callace
Summary: A line by the Initiative commander in The Killer In Me about Spike's chip "leave it like it is much longer, and it will be fatal to him" had me wondering: What could have happened if Buffy and Spike didnt meet them down there?
1. Chapter 1

**The End in Pain**

**Spoilers**: In addition to First Date, which this fic is based on. and The Killer In Me, the story also has specific references to Never Leave Me, Sleeper, Same Time Same Place, As You Were, Intervention, New Moon Rising, The I in Team, Hush, Graduation Day part 2, Becoming Part 2, What's My Line part 2 and Teachers Pet.

Buffy and Spike are down in the shut down facilities of the Initiative. Buffy has just killed the monster which attacked them, and is, deeply worried, bowing down over Spike, who lies still on the floor. "Are you still with us?" He gives her a tired look, and whispers "Yes" barely audible. "Good. That guy was quite a surprise. Didn't expect anything to survive down here. We need to move on. Are you fit to walk?" Spike sighs and uses his arms to lift himself up from the floor. "I think so"

They walk on, through the one dilapidated room after the other, the smell of old dust and rottening demon flesh tormenting their nostrils. Their progress is slowed down by Spike stopping up, grabbing his head, and trying not to scream whenever the chip fires again. Time goes by, and they seem no closer to finding the medical lab. Buffy kicks a piece of junk on the floor, and swears. "Why the hell did they have to make this place so damn huge? We're never gonna find what we're looking for like this!"

"Not with me slowing you down anyhow" Spike stumbles over to a corner of their current room, and sits down. "You could check out the area a lot faster alone, not having to wait out every seizure." "What? No! I'm not leaving you here! What if there is another monster alive around here?" "Then I'll handle it! In between the jolts I'm still monster enough to tackle anyone!" He looks up at her, and gives her a wry smile. Then sighs and looks down. "I'm sorry. I thought I knew this place from last time. Thought I could remember where things were…" "Well, from your somewhat reluctant report of the experience back then, I gathered that you didn't actually see much. Just the containing area, the hallways and an air vent. It's OK. I'll run around here till I find what you need. Just stay put."

After about an hour, Buffy's storming back into the room, carrying a white plastic bag. "I found it! Both the med lab and the documentation center. But they had taken pretty much everything with them. All the filing cabinets were empty. And this was the only stuff I could find that looked like tranquillizers." She bows down into her bag, and picks out some flasks and syringes. "Great." Spike takes them from her, and starts preparing for injection. Buffy objects. "From what the labels say that's pretty heavy stuff, that will knock you out completely. Maybe we should go home first and back to bed?" Spike looks up from the medical preparations for a second, and give her a sad smile. "Sorry love, but walking home isn't an option anyway. Since the chip has gone to work on frying my brain extra crispy, I can't move my legs anymore."

Buffy carries anaesthetized Spike home, and tucks him into his cot in the basement. Then she hears someone walking upstairs, and goes up to check it. "Willow!" she sighs in relief and runs over to give her a hug. "It's you! The non-Warren you. You made it!" "No actually, I screwed up. Kennedy made it." "How?" Willows smiles and shy away from her. "Big messy story… how about you? Did you find what you were looking for? Did… have Riley called you back?" "No, not yet. But you know how it is… those military guys. I'm sure he'll call as 

quickly as he's able to." Buffy takes a deep breath, and shudders slightly before giving Willow a wry smile. "Assuming that the number he gave me wasn't actually to a flower shop."

The next day at work, Buffy has trouble paying enough attention to the students coming to talk to her. She tries smiling, looking at them and nod at about the right places in their stories, but still don't manage to give the impression that they have her full and undivided attention. Deciding that she's better off doing something more useful than hurting vulnerable kids even more, she leaves her office to do a little investigation instead, into what principal Wood is really all about, since they found him down in the basement with a shovel.

She walks into his office, looking around and leafing through the file folders on his desk. "Now, if I were a sign of being evil, where would I … be?" She spots the double door closet on the wall, and walks up to it, just as Wood comes in the door. "Buffy?" "Oh. Principal Wood. It's you!" _Oh great! Spotted. Way to go Buffy! Very stealthy._ "Are you looking for something?" _Think of something, a bit fast. What could I be going in here for_ ? "File folders." _No, not the smartest. Don't want him to think I'm here to sneak a peek at confidential information._ "And mechanical pencils. I wanna write on a file folder with a mechanical pencil" Wood gives her a look. "The supply cabinet in the outer office has those things" _Obviously… shit! _"So this isn't a supply cabinet? My bad! Ok. Thanks!" He looks down for a moment, and then walks up towards her and start speaking. _Oh, god. What's he gonna say. How bad is this? _"Um… What are you doing tonight?" _What?"Where is this going? When does the scolding come? Ok. Come up with something work-dedicated_ "preparing for tomorrows counseling cessions" "No, really?" Buffy breathes out, and relaxes a bit. "Watching a reality show about a millionaire." "Well, then… I'd like to take you out to dinner, if that's all right with you"

"Dinner. That sounds nice. I like dinner… But I can't. You see, I have a sick friend at home, who needs nursing. I think I need to get back to him." Wood frowns and gives her a look. "Him?" "Yes. But… it's nothing like that… like I said, a friend. Just a friend. A friend who is sick." She starts noticing that she is talking a tad too fast. Wood gets a queasy expression in his face while hearing her ramble. "You don't have to come. I'm certainly not saying come to dinner if you enjoy having a job." He giggles nervously. "If you have more pressing business, I certainly understand that." She smiles, and walks a step closer to him. "It's not that I don't want to. I'm sure dinner would have been great… now is just not the time."

Buffy finishes work, and comes home, going straight to the basement to check on Spike. "Hey… you're awake. Had a good days sleep?" He looks at her and smiles. "Yes" then clenches his teeth, and trembles through another seizure before adding "until the tranquillizers wore off." Buffy looks at him in deep concern, and sits down at the edge of the bed. "Then why haven't you taken more? They're right here." She nods to the night table put in for the purpose, where one last dose of drugs is lying. "Tried to" he replies "But it's no go anymore. It has zapped my arms too." Buffy gasps, and shakes her head, resting her eyes on his right arm, hanging down along the side of the bed. She takes it up, feeling it lying cold and limp in hers, and folds it over his covers. "We'll find help!" she says, with desperate determination in her voice. "I'll call again. Not give in until they send someone to fix this." "Yeah, go ahead. Pester the innocent flower salesman until he sends a full chip removal squad. Good luck!"

"You got a better idea?" Buffy snaps, so not in the mood for his sarcasms right now. "Could you at least give me another shot before you go?" he casts a pleading look towards the night 

table. She walks over there, and fills the drug into a syringe. Then bows over him, spending some time looking for the best place to inject it. Spike is growing more and more impatient. "The next fit can come any moment. I would really appreciate not to be here when it does." "I'm sorry. I'm just trying to find a good vein." Spike shoots her a look and snorts at her. "Hello! Vampire. Not big with the blood circulation! Just GET IT IN!"

Just as she does, Dawn comes down, and takes in the scenario. Spike closes his eyes and sinks back into slumber land. "So, how is he?" Dawn asks, looking at Buffy, who shakes her head and sighs. "Paralyzed, from the neck down." "Ooh…" Dawn walks over to the bed, and grabs Spikes arm, lifting it up, and putting the fingers in the same position as hers was in paralysis a few months earlier. Then she lets go, and it falls back down to the linen. "Damn, not mouldable." Buffy looks at her with eyes flashing fire "is that all you think about?!" she snaps, "Fun and games with a cripple?" "sorry" Dawn winces in surprise. "Didn't think that was such a big deal to you. You guys did it to me, remember? When Gnarl got to me." Buffy breathes out, and blushes with embarrassment. "You're right. I just… wish there was a demon behind this too. Slay a beast, solve the problem. I'm good at that."

Buffy is sitting in the living room couch watching Willow folding laundry. Willow is doing her best to comfort Buffy. "I'm sure help is on the way. Riley must have got the message by now." "He must, right?" Buffy is clearly doing what she can to convince herself that that is so. "But, if he has got the message, what's taken so long? Why isn't he here already?" Willow gives her a sympathetic look and a shrug. Buffy goes on "Do you think he's holding a grudge against me? Or at least against Spike? He did after all find us in bed together the last time we saw him… and made it rather too clear to me that it was part of his mission to stake him…" Willow puts down her laundry, walks over and grabs Buffy's hands, while giving her a firm look. "But he didn't. And have you forgotten all that he said to you after asking that question? He loves you Buffy. No matter what. And he's married now. To a wonderful wife. So he doesn't have any reason to go all jealous and petty."

At that moment, Xander comes in the door, beaming. "Guess what!" The girls look up at him. "What?" "I got a date!" Willow gets up and walks up to him. "Xander! That's great! Congratulations! How?" Xander smiles, and is clearly proud of himself. "I met her at the hardware store, she has a kayak. We're going out for coffee." "great" Buffy mumbles from the couch. "At least someone's got a functional love life" Xander gives her a look of complete puzzlement, and tries to reply. "Oh. I don't know. With my track record she's probably evil." Willow smiles and shakes her head "no." "Well, she's interested in me, so there's probably a good chance."

Giles and Chao Ahn come in, and have their talk about the mall, language barrier and lactose intolerance. The Scoobies pause their date chat until they have gone up the stairs. Then Willow asks "Do you want me to run a computer check on this girl, find out more about who she really is?" "No. I'm going in blind. I'm gonna be an optimist about this. Why go looking for trouble? If its gonna find you, it's gonna find you"

And in the kitchen, Trouble, in the form of the First, have just found Andrew. They have their "kill the girls" conversation, Andrew is freaked out by the encounter, torn between his guilt, need to be redeemed and need to get a place in the Scooby gang on the one side, and his need for safety, protection by the biggest bully in the playground and an easy way out on the other. After a while of trying in vain to gather himself, he walks to the living room, peaking and listening in on what's going on there.

Anya has just finished freaking Willow, Kennedy, Dawn and Amanda out about the bloody educational drawings Giles has made for Chao Ahn, and is now complaining about Xander's date. "Xander's out with some hardware store whore…" Andrew looks around at them, at Amanda and Kennedy. _Ok. Just kill the girls. With the gun. No stabbing. That shouldn't be too difficult. _"Xander has a date??" Giles' shock is apparent in his voice. "Yeah" Anya whines. "He's on his way there right now. By the end of it they'll probably be making out even worse than Willow is with this girl" "hey" Kennedy snaps, catching the insult. Giles shakes his head and make roll eyes in disbelief. "For Gods sake, how can anyone think about their social life? We are about to fight the original primal evil. These girls are in mortal danger!" Andrew winces behind the door. _Yes, they are, and the danger threatening them right now is me. Oh no. I don't want to!!_ "Didn't you see the flash cards?" Giles goes on. "This isn't right!" _no, it isn't. It really isn't. I can't do this. I need help!!_

He takes a deep breath and walks in, just as Giles storms out in frustration, apparently headed for the bathroom, to try to get Chao Ahn to come out and calm down after seeing the flash cards. "Andrew", Willow looks up at him. "What do you want?" "I… I was approached by the First, and it wants me to be evil. I don't know what to do. Help me!" "Hmm. you were approached by the First, who tried to recruit you? That gives me an idea… do you think you're up to going undercover?"

They try to pull the wire-stunt on the First, and find that it doesn't work. But while the others are fussing about the fiasco, Buffy feels that this is hardly a concern at all compared to the chip-problem she has been trying to solve for days. She goes down in the basement, and finds that Spike has awakened again. He gives her a tired smile. "Hey. What's going on up there?" Buffy shrugs, sighs and starts explaining. "The First approached Andrew. Willow had this idea that we could have him meet it again with a wire, so we could learn more about it. It didn't work." "You tried to record the ultimate evil?" Spike gives her a puzzled how could you be so stupid stare. "Why? In a complex effort to royally piss it off?" Buffy laughs. "That's what came out of it anyhow… but how are you? Is there anything I can do for you?" Spike shakes his head, with resigned pain all over his face. "No. I don't think so. The one thing I really want at this point, I know you wouldn't give me." "Of course I would!" Buffy insists, almost insulted. "Just name it!" Spike stares at her, tentatively, for a long time, making Buffy more and more impatient. Then he sighs, and speaks out. "Please kill me".

"What?!" Buffy gasps, quickly rousing herself to a frenzy "oh, NO! Don't you dare give up like that now. Help will come. You will be well again. Everything is gonna be ok!" Spike smiles at her, and looks calmly into her eyes. "I appreciate all that you are trying to do to solve this. I really do. But let's face it. Its' been days, with no response from the soldiers. They're not coming. And in the mean time, the chip is eating away at my brain. It has already got the motion centre crispy fried, and will probably soon move on to speech, thinking ability, memory etc, until it makes my head explode, and leaves your blankets all dusty." She tries to interrupt but he won't let her. "Please. Let me finish. I have been thinking a great deal about this. There's nothing left, Buffy. No chance of getting anything more done. And no pain killers left either. Except the final, dusty, one. I have lived for ever, seen everything, had more experiences than most others. I'm ready to go now. Please help me."

Buffy shakes her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You may be. But what about me? I'm not ready for you to not be here!" At this statement, Spikes eyes goes glossy with tears too. He gives her a long warm and sore gaze. Then he pulls himself together enough to reply. "I'm so sorry. I never wish to hurt you. You know that! But this is the end anyway. I'm a 

warrior Buffy. Helplessly corroding away in my bed, in a world of pain, wasn't the way I pictured myself going out. I may be cowardly, selfish and vain at this, but I want a more dignified death. I want to be slain."

Buffy is dumbstruck at this speech, gasps, shakes her head and cries. Stares at him, and takes a few steps back. "I need some time to think about this" She turns, rushes up the stairs, and locks herself in the bathroom. There, she sits down, and tries to sort out the mess in her head. Spike's request was clearly preposterous. Riley will get the message, and send help! But hadn't she been thinking herself the very same thoughts which he presented? That no one would come… that if help was on its way, it would have been here by now? That this is the end. And then, didn't he deserve a better send off than this? A quick way to end the pain… But could she? She wraps her arms around her head and sobs. Why? Why did such things always have to happen to her? Memories are floating up about killing Angel. With all the pain that followed. Couldn't she please have a boyfriend she didn't have to kill? Well, she was never forced to kill Riley. But right now she wanted to.

She sighs deeply, braces herself and gets out into the living room, to her weapons trunk to collect a stake. Then she returns to the basement. Spike sees the stake in her hand, and sighs in relief. "thank you!" she sits down next to the bed, and grabs his limp hand from under the cover, holding tightly on to it for a moment, stroking the fingers, before she lets go, says "good bye" and raises her stake.

"Buffy!" Willow pokes her head in, and rushes to tell the news she has. "I just got a call from the military guys. They're on their way. Will get here any moment!" Buffy lowers her stake, and she and Spike stare at each other in baffled surprise. "Great!" Buffy responds to Willow. "Then I'll be here waiting until they come." "No, you can't. I got a message from Xander too. I'm not sure, but I think it means he's in trouble." "Damn! Ok. You stay here. Make sure they get that damned thing out! I'll go save the day again." "Good luck. I'm sure Giles can drive you."


	2. Chapter 2

_Oh yeah! This is so right on my Xander-track of dating. Not only does she want to kill me, she even does it in a way that opens the seal! _Xanders date has him tied up in a wooden frame hanging from the ceiling in the high school basement. _Does she have any clue what's down there? _"Look, I know what happens if that seal down there gets all excited. I don't think you understand what you are doing." "The seal opens, and a vicious vampire creature comes out" _shit! How crazy is this chick? Does she really want this? "_ Then you do understand. But what makes you think that's a good idea?" "The end is coming, the final fight. And everyone is hearing the drumbeat" _for sure I do at least. The drumbeat in my head is getting pretty intense. This position is not exactly comfortable! _"It's telling us to pick our partners. Align ourselves with the good, or the evil." _And of course my date has to pick evil!_

She pulls out a sword and approaches him with it. _Oh god! Oh no! This is so not the way I wanted to go! With all the girls who have tried to kill me, it sucks that it had to end with this one, who even wants to use my death as an instrument of destruction. At least Insect Lady only wanted to breed! _She thrusts the sword through his belly, and the blood flows down to the seal. "Couldn't have done it without you, Xander. Thanks for the great date!" _yeah! Thanks a lot! I can't believe I was excited enough about this to even send Willow a message that I got lucky and don't want to be disturbed for a while. Oh, please, somebody, disturb us!_

The door bursts open and Buffy storms in, with Giles after her. She runs straight for the demon, and throttles her. "Listen, lady. I have had some crap of a day, and just been yearning for someone whose ass I can kick. You now became the lucky volunteer!" While they beat each other up, Giles runs to Xander, and cuts him down. They run away, while Buffy first gives a beating, then takes one, then gives another until she manage to cut the demons head off. _Aww, amazing! Buffy never fails to show up to get me out of bad dates. But no more! That's it! I'm going gay!_

Buffy, Giles and Xander make their way back home. Xander makes gay jokes, and Giles scolds him, while Buffy hardly concentrates on any of this, refusing to be drawn into their bickering. Her mind has room for nothing but what is going on back at the house. where the Initiative-soldiers must now have arrived, and is operating on Spike. She feels a sore lump growing in her throat, and jitters go through her entire body. That fight she just had, had been a wonderful venting of all the stress, anger and frustration that has been eating her up the last few days. But now that is over, and her fears and worries are just as bad. If only all problems could be solved by slaying a demon… It turns out that saving one is a heck of a lot more difficult! She still trembles with the thought of almost having staked him. If that phone call had come two seconds later… No, can't think of that. Irrelevant. Didn't happen. But what did actually happen over there now? The Initiative was not exactly known to have such glowing care for the well-being of demons under their custody.

Her mind flies nervously to the time when they captured Oz, and exposed him to all sorts of torture, even after they saw him as human. To such people, surely, helping a demon must seem completely strange. Will they really do the job properly? Or are they hurting him? Doing the surgery without anesthesia? Doing the job carelessly, or perhaps even just killing him? She does after all know from bitter personal experience that The Initiative doesn't value lives too much, even human lives. Even hers… No, stop panicing. No more scenarios! Go home, and see how it actually is. Then deal with it.

As soon as they have made it though the door, she pulls Willow away for questioning.

"Now, tell me!"

"They got it out." Willow answers empathically. "But he's in pretty bad shape. They said it was really a last minute surgery".

"Were you there? Did you see how it went down?"

"No." Willow shakes her head "They told me to wait outside, since I would only get in the way."

Buffy shudders, and struggles all the harder with the lump in her throat. "Did they say anything about what took them so long?"

"No. I asked, but they wouldn't say. They indicated that we should feel lucky that they took on such a mission at all." She gives Buffy a knowing wink. "I bet they only came because Riley pestered them."

Buffy thanks her for the briefing, and then hurries down to the basement, and sits down at the edge of Spike's bed. "How are you?" He looks at her, clearly trying to say something, but nothing comes out.

"It's ok. You don't have to talk. I'm just glad you're still with us!" He moves his eyes from the visible bruise on her forearm, to her black eye. "Don't worry about me. That was just another slain demon. The one that attacked Xander. I killed her, and he's ok."

She sits there, looking at him for a while longer, until it becomes too much for her, and she runs back up to Willow. All the worries and "what if's" that has been churning in her head is not nearly as distressing as actually sitting there, seeing the true state of things with her own eyes. She can't take this! Right in this moment, she is really relieved that her best friend, one of the very few people it is safe to show her vulnerability to, is upstairs, worrying about her.

"He can't talk! Not move his head anymore. His soul seems to be the only part still intact… all locked in there." Buffy's voice is shivering with tears, as she stands there with Willow in the kitchen. Willow nods, and tries to look as sympathetic as possible, while trying to figure out how to handle her friend's apparent break down.

"Yes. It's pretty bad now. But don't worry Buffy, vampires heal. You just make sure to provide him with enough blood and keep him comfortable, and all will be just fine."

Buffy trembles, and gives her a gaze of sheer angst. "Right. Blood. But how do I know when he's hungry? Or even whether he's able to swallow, in that condition…"

Willow puts a hand on her shoulder, and gives her the best reassuring smile she can come up with. "You'll figure it out." Buffy smiles back at her, and melted into her embrace.

"I'm sorry. There's just so much I don't know. Like, when I was walking out of there, I wondered whether to switch off the light or not. I mean, normally one would appreciate being in a light room when awake. But… creature of the night. Maybe they like it darker? And 

being paralyzed, wouldn't that usually include sleeping a lot, so the light should be off?" She shakes her head, and sobs into Willows shoulder. "And I can't ask!"

Willow takes Buffy's head in her hands, and gently tugged, making Buffy meet her eyes. "Cant talk doesn't mean can't communicate. Remember the Gentlemen? All we were able to say despite their efforts?" Buffy is about to interrupt, but Willow wont let her. "Hush... He can move his eyes, right. There's something. Take it from there."

Buffy comes down to the basement, with a cup of warm blood from the microwave. "Hey, I need to ask you some things. Please blink to answer me, once for yes, twice for no." Spike blinks at her, and she continues. "first, do you think you are able to drink this" He blink once again, and gives the mug a yearning stare. "Ok then. here it goes." she opens his mouth, and starts pouring, just a little bit. He makes all the effort he can to get his throat to cooperate, but when Buffy lets go of his head, it fall back onto the side, and the blood comes trickling out again, onto the pillow.

Spike looks down, in deepest embarrasment, and moans in frustration. Buffy collects a rag from the sink, pulls the pillow away and starts wiping his face. "its ok. we'll find another way... transfusion, thats what you need."She tries her hardest to sound on top of the situation, but is obviously more stressed out than she's willing to let out, while thinking on... "But I dont have the equipment, and the hospital is not likely to provide us with blood infusion kit to help a vampire." She looks around, at the night table, with the empty tranquillizer bottles and syringes. Then she gets up, grabs the bloody pillow and leaves the room for a minute, coming back with a clean one and scissors, which she uses to cut the the neck off one of the bottles, and then put it into a syringe as funnel. After having punctured Spike's neck with the syringe, she pours the blood in, slowly and safely, untill the entire mug is drained. "do you want more?" He blinks again, and she runs up to get another portion. But before she reaches the door, she stops, and turns back again, giving him another concerned stare "do you want me to turn the light off while I'm gone?" He blinks again. once.

the next day Buffy comes down there, she is met with a warm smile and a greeting. "hey Buffy." "Spike!" She rushes over to him. "how... when did this happen?" "during the night" he smiles and adds. "not a complete vegetable any longer." _Sodden chip! been stealing my dignity from the very beginning. Of course it had to go out like this, taking the last shred with it, leaving me uncapable of even drinking whats offered up. Arrgh! I'm so glad that at least that is over. I'm finally able to talk to Buffy again. Hated to see her fuss and worry so much and not be able to try to calm her down, or at least show gratitude in some way. But then again... what to say? what the ruddy hell is there to say in a situation like this? _"I'm so glad you're better." Buffy looks at him, clearly somewhat beyond words she too.Then she puts her head in her hands and shakes it. sighing deeply "what's the matter, love?" she looks up again, and tries for a smile, but a tear is falling down her cheek. "Oh, i dont know, its just... looking at you like this, zapped of all power... I have power. I wish I could give you some of mine," _Oh, wow! Wow! I never even would have though this possible... hating it, loving it, completely puzzed by it SHE is crying for me! over my injuries. oh dear! _His mind wanders to the last time he was paralysed, when Buffy was responsible for it, smashing a pipe organ over him, after he had nearly killed Angel. _Wonder if she still remembers that? Without a doubt. And still...!_

"but wait..." Buffy lightens up in fresh enthusiasm. "there is a way to do that. I can give you some of my strength, to help you heal... If you drink me!" _What?? _"what?!" "Slayer blood. it 

has healing powers for vampires, right? It would help you!" "It would hurt you! No way! Are you out of your mind?!" "It wont be a problem. Slayers heal fast, you know." "With the First lurking around to strike any moment, and lots of girls upstairs needing you? You need all the strength you have!" "And all you can have. I need you with me on all this, better. Let me do this for you!_" oh dear, oh dear... is this reality or am I dreaming?_ Memories float up, about his desires from years ago, About the Buffybot. Its reply to his "You know I cant bite you": "I think you can. I think you can if I let you. And I want to let you. I want you to bite me, and devour me untill there's no more!" _Awww... _Then another memory surfaces. the cellar of a house. Vampires he has sired holding Buffy. the First inciting him to bite her... _No no no! _

Buffys next comment breaks into his train of thought._ "_you said it yourself, you know just how much blood you can drink from a girl before she dies. I'm sure you know how to make it a not too harmful dose too.. I trust you."_ Well, when something seems too good to be true..._ "Are you really Buffy, or are you the First posing as her, trying to persuvade me to attack her the next time we meet?"

Buffy gives him a penetrating stare, lifts up his sheets, and graps his hand from underneath it, giving it a good clench. "No First here." Spike smiles at her but then gives her a reproachful look. "It's always here. Here, there and everywhere. And in case you forgot; It's still not done making me its bitch. If I start what you are suggesting, It is likely to finish it." Buffy squeezes his hand even tighter, and look straight into his eyes. "I remember in the cellar, when it had you. even then, you couldnt hurt me much. It would, but not you. You fought back. I believe in you Spike."

They lock eyes, and stare at each other for a long time. then she continues. "you are sick and disabled. i need you back in the fight. As soon as possible. So I want to do anything I can to cure you." she pauses and looks away for a moment, her eyes going hazy with memories. "And honestly, its not that bad. I've done this for Angel. And liked it." O_uch! she just had to bring up nancy-boy! telling me how she enjoyed his bite... why? What is she going at? I really dont need to know any details about them! _

She gets this determined look on her face, and climbs up into the bed, lying down on top of him, placing her neck directly above his mouth. He can feel her pulse pounding away in its rythm, and smell the sweet scent of her. _Wow. she really means it! But it's not safe..._ _the responsible thing to do would be to at least insist on getting it in a mug. But what the heck! He got to do it! And after all this time she still remembers! Sod the safety! I'll give her a bite to remember!_ He tentatively tries out his facial muscles, finding they all respond. He's able to vamp out and bite. The neck is penetrated, and the blood flows into his mouth. Proper, human slayerblood! Fed the way a vampire should. Healing for both body and pride. _Awww. Ambrosia! better than anything ever eaten. better than any previous slayer I've drained. warm and sweet and... a willing gift. Is it possible that, just maybe... _Buffy moans, and moves her arms down the sheet on top of his body._Oh, wow!_ _does this mean to her anything like what it means to me? is she showing... some sort of... at least for the moment... __that she's my girl?_


End file.
